Page 73 - Spacecruiser Inquiry - By A.H. Almaas

  • What kind of self inquiry have you done? I’m not sure. The pointers I was given didn’t point me in a direction I felt comfortable with. It seemed as if it wanted me to question everything I know, but I expected a trajectory, a path, not just throwing me into nothing and…no training wheels.
  • Did you like doing it? I couldn’t do it. I didn’t know where to start, what was the 2nd step, the 3rd step. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t expect to have my hand held, but what the fuck am I supposed to do? I had no clue what I was inquiring into?
  • Was it revealing, satisfying, challenging, disturbing, or something else? Frustrating.
  • How do you see your concerns, your capacities, and your limitations in relation to inquiry? Fuck you.
  • How fixed is this knowledge about yourself? Lots of stuff is fixed. Whatever. How is this fucking inquiry into past inquiry attempt supposed to fucking help me? How am I supposed to get beyond that by talking about past failed inquiry?
  • How does that knowledge affect your experience of inquiry now and your openness to pursuing it further? I don’t think I’m going to make it past 5 minutes at attempting. I think I’m going to expect it to just fall flat…no progress. Just this talk about not expecting anything, not having beliefs, etc. etc. asking yourself about those…but not really getting anywhere. Not realizing something deeper than where I’m at right now.