From our perspective, the superego is the inner coercive agency that stands against the expansion of awareness and inner development, regardless of how mild or reasonable it becomes.
Marshy: the superego always stands against expansion
Jason: "This is how it's supposed to be"
Jason: always keeping you inside of a box
Jason: a "safe" little box
Jason: brb
Marshy: yes
Marshy: my sister tells me i need to go to college
Marshy: :)
Jason: yeah
Jason: I had some lady I visited (looking for a room)
Jason: who started giving me a 'oh you should go to school' schpeil
Jason: after I mentioned that I haven't gone, just taught myself to program and stuff
Jason: ugh, I woke up and had no more cigarettes
Jason: I decided to not smoke
Marshy: noooooooo
Jason: and just notice how I feel
Jason: but co-worker came along wanting to talk, she has cigarettes
Jason: I bummed one, just got done smoking
Jason: and walked up stairs
Jason: so much anxiety flowing through me
Jason: my hands are shaky
Marshy: :)
Jason: I think this is the key to dropping these unhealthy tendencies of mine
Jason: as I become more aware
Marshy: yep
Jason: the less palatable they are
Marshy: thats what happened to me
Marshy: your body gets more sensitive
Jason: before you're just not aware
Marshy: and you're like, shit, i can't be like this anymore
Jason: yeah
Jason: it becomes obvious you don't want to feel this way
Jason: I can see it's just as bad as the other repressed stuff that comes up
Jason: it's, ugh, not pleasant
Jason: I guess I just have to sit ou the cravings
Jason: until they fall away
Jason: or else I'll just keep repeating this cycle
Marshy: my mom told my sister the cravings never go away
Marshy: but
Marshy: i never ever have a craving
Marshy: i tried a drag of josh's cig... it was just disgusting
Jason: yeah, that thought isn't helpful
Jason: "These will never go away?!?!? I might as well just give in. I can't stand feeling this way for the rest of my life"
Jason: That thought creates the hopelessness
Marshy: just raising your awareness makes it harder
Jason: ok, I have to go to a meeting
Marshy: yeah, your thoughts are like ping pong balls
Jason: be back in like 30-60 minutes
Marshy: write a blog post :)